in her pink frock

2010-12-12T12:19:00.003+08:00

My boyfriend is so noble and awesome.

Couldn't love him more for it.

He's sleeps earlier than me and wakes up past noon. All in a chivalrous attempt to draw the "Zzz-monster" away from me.

-____________-

Oh, and he runs the miles for me, so that I don't have to run. I wish the bodies of couples work that way. I'll gladly pig out for him (:

2010-12-11T00:14:00.003+08:00

Studying gives me occasional random thoughts.

1) VS bikinis rocks - there can never be any like theirs.

2) I am a late bloomer; really late. Nearly got retained in Sec 2 cause i was the first in the cohort - from the back. Bucked up a bit in upper sec.

3) Learnt most of the things I know in Uni.

4) Always believed that I cannot do something 'cause people told me I can't; until recently.

5) Aim for the day when I can walk into any store, with absolutely no penny (or cents) counting and buy what I want.

6) For a major part of my life (20 years?), I thought I'll be contented with a family and just enough to get by as long as everyone is healthy.

7) Now, I want to aim for more; alot more just because nothing is ever certain. Health is still a priority.

8) Only two things in the world give power - politics and business, not science. Unless you're Einstein with a hell lot of connections.

9) I crave for power and I plan to work towards it. Baby steps, that's all it matters.

10) I will not give up God for anything; He has been there no matter how astray, rebellious, ridiculous and negative I've been. Believe me, I had my really bad days.

11) I attempted suicide. Two periods in my life. Lucky for me, I was too much of a coward to see it through.

12) Thankful for those periods - it gives me the chance to relate with others and truly say, I know how it feels.

13) The other day, someone told me - you really make me very happy. I had been nothing more but myself; pursuing what i want, being who i am and free. I didn't even have to try.

14) For the first time in my life, I managed to make someone happy just by being me. Couldn't have love him more with those words. Thank God. (:

15) My ideal trip will be to New York (shop), Paris (Xmas), and then to Prague.

16) I wanna have a dog. And a cat. A golden retriever and a fat cat. Damn cute sight!

17) I believe in having a backup plan for everything I do. Nothing is ever 100% guaranteed. Those commericals lie, you know.

18) Coffee on a <6-hr sleep days is orgasmic.

19) If my inner comments are made known, no one will come near me.

20) I cherish my friends, and i DO bear grudges.

21) People who say, forgive and forget are either extremely saintly, or have not been through experiences/comments that really affected them. I believe it's more of the latter. Mother Teresa is one in a million.

22) Rapists, terrorists and murderers should not be put on death row. A lot of clinical trials are falling short due to lack of human models. Land mines from the past two wars need not be cleared up by soldiers and civilians.

23) My undies are color-coordinated. My actual wardrobe is in a mess.

24) Nice underwear give me a sense of empowerment; it's like a secret only I know.

24) A g-string costs 10x more than a granny panty - the power of marketing.

25) Rich guys are not appealing. Daddies monies can work wonders. Only.

26) I judge a man by how he treats his subordinates and "lower" working class. Actually, I judge most people that way.

27) Yes, I'm a Christian. And yes, I judge. To be accepting of all is hypocritical and lacking a view point.

28) I am racist. To an extent.

29) Christmas is the best event of the year. I always get filled with a warm glow that no other event can bring, not even my own bdae.

30) At 17, I had a crush on person of the same gender.(shucks, have I told sham this!)

31) 10 year relationship mark w my secondary school friends is finally here. I love them for being with me through all my nonsense. I love them for letting me be me and still loving me despite not being there for most of the gatherings, especially in university.

32) I am not naturally sociable. It depends on my mood. I can be, if I want to.

33) I pull a long face because 1) i'm tired 2) i'm moody 3) i want to 4) i naturally look like that!

34) Cosmetic surgery is not out of my list if I get excessive cellulite that nothing can reduce it; my boobs sag like mad; varicose veins start showing.

35) I love the smell and sound of rain. Only when I'm at home.

36) Creamy pasta over tomato, anytime. Unless he cooks it the way I like it w olive oil and lotsa garlic. (:

37) Not a TV fan. A romantic, medieval based novel, anytime.

38) Favorite holiday program: Wake up at 9am, eat a huge breakfast (preferably buffet), wait for the poo arrival back in the room; falling asleep while the boy watches tv and i wait for the poo to come (without avail); waking up; finally getting dressed to head out; dinner back in the hotel on the bed followed by drinks, desserts, tv, nice shower, more tv and sleep.

People say it's a waste. But that's a holiday - to be comfortable and enjoying it. I'm glad he likes it the way I do.

39) My love for science, neurobiology and children comes together in a really unfortunate disorder - glioblastoma.

40) I wish we can all be as God intended and created us to be - to love, trust, believe, cherish and kind.

41) Child-sex offenders, be it indirectly or directly, no matter how influential, should be tortured. Human cachexia/HIV/cancer models, anyone?

42) Being drunk is not an excuse for judgement lapses. To be totally drunk, one would have passed out - I passed out after finishing half a 1L Smirnoff bottle with him in Brisbane. One moment I was mumbling, the next, I was out. Then a moment later, my body jerked up by itself and I grabbed a plastic bag. The rest is history.

Thank God for the body's attempt at homeostasis. Otherwise, I'd have been crazily intoxicated and ashes now.

43) Random sex with strangers is ridiculous. Be an escort and earn some. Everything comes with a price tag, including sex, sans committments (duh).

44) I classify the people I know.

45) Wish I can draw.

46) I always tear up while singing hymms.

47) During service, I'll look around and wonder, how many are true Christians after service; how many actually watch porn and how many are truly unafraid.

48) Kisses are awesome.
...

Continuing another time! BED TIME! (:

2010-11-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

Time. is. so. damn. slow.

><

2010-11-11T19:32:00.003+08:00

This year's Victoria Secret show is finished! Waiting for Youtube to have it (:

Jason passed me the link for snippets of the runway, which was really timely. I was getting lazy to head for gym tomorrow. But now, I feel motivated! 1morekg to be at my ideal of 49 and another 1morekg to be a buffer. =D

the days are passing soooooooooo slowly -___-

2010-11-07T19:50:00.001+08:00

Someone should ban Victoria Secret sites from my browser capabilities.

Especially when bikinis are on sale.

-_____________-

2010-10-31T19:58:00.004+08:00

Bio-entre had finally ended on Saturday!

Lovely team members - couldn't have pulled of the 60+ pages of report without them. If anyone of them had fallen sick/something gone wrong, a section would have been totally void. Come to think of it, even though the team was new, we trusted each other to do the work that we're assigned to and each of us did our parts and more. Without these people, it'd never have been a success (:

Colleen: Finances, presentation slides and aesthetics, NeoAsia
Daniel: Finances, constant amendment of the finance aspect
Ranjani: For coming down at 830 to help me with the survey results despite family, being the marketing image of the "company", marketing
Veron: Logos, aesthetics, constant analysis of making the presentations better, operations
Karen: Quiet in speech but total surprise when it comes to work - this girl is crazy meticulous and analyzes every word throughout the rounds of editing.

Meanwhile, thank you for the people who cooked up the surprise birthday cake! There were a few signs that something was up, but having had 5 hrs sleep on average for the past week and 3 hrs the day before report submission, my mind was gone. Thank you for remembering (when even I didn't) and making it a memorable one! (:

I woke up on Saturday morning (knocked out early on friday night) to find a huge bag beside me. It turned out to be... SKII!! My sister got it for me citing that "it's for all the times she did not get me presents".

Can't bear to use it!

Have a great Sunday! 22 more days (:

2010-10-26T00:12:00.003+08:00

Bio-entre is sucking me dry. I know that appointment of the name, leader, is really a sabotage game; but it gives an added pressure to perform.

That aside, I realized I'm not an easy person to work with. There's this tendency in me to perfect everything and to have as much done as possible. I demand a lot out of myself and have the same demands out of my team mates - we don't need to be horses, but everyone should pull their own weight in terms of team work, research, self-initiative, workload and analytical thinking.

I'm not talking about my group here; thankfully I've a team that works really well, listen to each other's opinions, pull their own weight and are practical. We grew as a team from a bunch of people who are not sure of each other to one that can crack jokes and have compromises.

BUT

I absolutely cannot stand people who take a small share (emphasis: SMALL) and throw the HUGE portions to another member. Wtf is that supposed to mean?

How small is small?

Local market analysis: Done by 2 people. I myself is taking on this part as part of MARKETING. It took me less than 2 hours, most of it spent on Google databases rather than the actual write-up.

How big is BIG?

International market analysis
MARKETING

Marketing is a farking huge segment. It consists of so many factors and so much research to have a solid market analysis that it will definitely take 2 people on it.

But no, only one person is handling BOTH.

I'm not the one who is getting this huge a job (with my recent mood and temper, whoever assigned me such a thing would have gotten a backlash).

But I feel that it is terribly unfair to be "picking" on someone and giving yourself something small. Like I said, I demand a lot of myself and equally as much from the team. However, this is just too much.

I've been in a ranting mood for the past week plus. Hopefully all the vulgarities and urge to lash out at such incompetence subside with the workload.

2010-10-17T21:54:00.003+08:00

Had an interesting talk by the director of the Nanyang Technology Centre. It goes something like this.

Director (D): Are anyone of you all here entrepreneurs?
Class (C): *silently looking around for raised hands.

D: Okay.. then how many of you have boyfriends/girlfriends and are in a relationship
(Minute pause)
D: It's okay, don't need to raise your hands. It's your own personal life
C: *laugh
D: All of you who are in a relationship are actually entrepreneurs! You've to market yourself in a certain manner, present yourself and have someone to come and take you

(silence)

C: *laugh!

psst ei: i want the jaccuzi w sham! imagine aft a long day at the beach and shopping, coming back into the jacuzzi with a bottle of wine and lotsa food and just slacking under the moon rays. damn shiok! but it comes a heavy price tag. lol

2010-10-14T22:48:00.003+08:00

Come December,

1) Exams will be finally over

2) Just another semester to go before graduating & stepping yet again into a sense of not knowing what is in store (good/bad)

3) Dave is coming to spore...4

4) and phuket is here!

The previous hotel that we went (Royal Paradise, with their buffet spread) had their rates up horrendously high during the december period. We spent like 300+ in total for 6 nights but now they're charging 700+ for 3nights (!!)

After a few hours of searching and much discussions with dave (we both wanted the one w a private jacuzzi so badly), we settled for a much cheaper alternative, relatively close to the sights and with a pool (a must!
It's SGD190 for 3 nights, double beds and private balcony (no jacuzzi, got balcony can eh?)

Can't wait! Phuket has alot of memories for me which is why I am so excited to relieve the streets and the sights which had made those memories possible.

Till then, 38 more damn days.

2010-09-29T21:58:00.002+08:00

Change the black portions into white and i present... MY FIRST VS WHITE BIKINI! whoo hoo! Okay, the model looks damn hot in it (my favorite!) which is partly why it influenced me. Secondly, it's VS and it's white+gold+VScharms (how to resist?).

The sad part is that the past is a tie-back; i usually prefer claspes as they don't "flap" when i swim. But it's a dream.

Love love love =D

2010-09-25T18:18:00.002+08:00

Remeber when Professor Bose (research seminar) told us that whenever he has to review a submitted paper, he will carry it around with him - we did see him alone during lunches with a journal paper in hand, savouring it as though it is the best book ever written - he will read it slowly.

Over and over again.

I snickered back then. How long can one paper take? Maybe maximum of about 3 hours for an extremely long research (not review) paper with tons of breaks in between, if you're as easily distracted like me.

Now I realized what he meant. Once is not enough. Twice is not even enough. While preparing a presentation for a paper, I realized I need to comb through all the fine details, check out the sources cited and get the overall picture across as simply as possible (which is so damn hard!) while trying to find other suggestions.

-_____________-

2010-09-23T12:50:00.004+08:00

So, so, so glad that I'm not in virology and cell biology modules! =D Paper critiques sound fun and challenging from a lab viewpoint; but the time needed is just too much. Thank God for the blocks that I faced when I tried changing modules; the effort and irritation at it all made me stop and switch back - all for the better.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (:

2 more months for the boy! :(

on a side note, the vanity plan is going well. but it sure is costing me alot of moolah! -_- hopefully it all turns out well!

2010-09-11T20:08:00.002+08:00

I divide my running routes up into three sections - 1) the shorter than usual route 2) the usual route 3) the insane route. After a month plus of not running, Ive finally managed to concur phase 1 at a discounted usual timing. Phase 2 is next.

Ever since I came back from aussie, my excess fats and lack of muscle tone has been felt acutely and painfully. It just disgusts the hell outta me each time i feel them bounce whenever i take an extra heavier step.

Let's face it - age is catching up. I used to tell myself that I'll only start using vanity products when I'm 25 as I dont need it now. But after scrutinizing myself over and over again in front of the mirror, side ways and even backways (with an additional mirror), i've to face it. Age IS catching up.

The skin is no longer as elastic as possible. Small dimples are creeping in. And even though sham says there's nothing or it is fine, i just feel it's not fine. I grew up hearing this - a slim and nice body can make even the lower brand clothes look expensive, but one that is not maintained can look a chanel (aka branded) look like an imitation.

And so, I made a list of things I want to get into getting myself back into shape. Clothes, move aside. Exercise regime and vanity/health products, come out. Rather than looking at women who are much older and thinking how good they look, I rather whip myself into action.

Anti-cellulite cream is up on the list.

2010-09-11T13:12:00.002+08:00

After daily 830am tuitions for the past week, I was supposed to have another one this morning, but cancelled it.

Finally one whole free day to just be at home and catch up on work instead of having to be a clown and trying to juggle time bet sch lab and tuitions. =D waking up at 8 is damn shiok! =DD

i wanna go eat xiaolongbaos and then head to VS w my gf! Gotta find a free day - we've been procrastinating to do it since last semester =.=

And I cant wait for the boy to be back! :(

2010-09-08T22:40:00.002+08:00

I declare JJ as one of the nicest people I've ever met! No airs even with his mega-sized brain and ever so humble. But that aside, sham asked me to ask JJ regarding cell biology grouping but JJ isn't taking cell bio!

THEN! he actually offered to drop genetics to take cell bio with meeeee! OMG. i was so surprised and touched! Why? Because he had originally dropped cell biology for genetics since he couldnt get the lecturer, but yet he was willing to take cell bio!

=DD

But still sticking with genetics tho. =D

2010-09-07T20:44:00.003+08:00

A long time ago, eunice mentioned that my blog has been neglected for eons. So I'm back!

School has started for a week half and still in that holiday mood! The kind when waking up only when the sun is up, wanting to nap and sleep early. Luckily the piling workload has somewhat shaken me up to start being serious again.

My sis is touring vietnam now (lucky ass), so she BETTER buy things back for me!

I've finally finalized my modules - bio entre, genetics, system bio and muscle bio; it feels like a huge load off my shoulders esp since i was REALLY hesitant about cell bio and sham wasn't exactly in his best mood when he heard about the news.

I hope I can juggle things for this semester, with lab, lab reports, projects, tuition and exercising on top of the school work. Coffee, come to me. And if you see me with my shot glass and coffee inside, it's an EXPRESSO. Reason is, 1) I can down it really fast and give me a lift way faster 2) it is cheaper than buying coffee in school 3) (MOST IMPT) black coffee does not contain as much (way lesser) empty calories than canned/canteen coffee that is piled with sugar.

Being consistent with my new resolution to lose the excess weight gained in australia&NZ and tone back up, I got new running shoes (only because i left mine in aussie) - adidazero! It's the lightest shoe available and i got it at 30% off =D $106, well spent. I cannot stop raving about how it. It is just deep enough so that it wont cut into the back of my feet, contours to my feet, have that cut such that it enables an easier next step forth, it grips my feet nicely even after loosening the shoe laces AND it is LIGHT.

Love it!

Dave's coming to Sg on Xmas and I cannot wait to see him again! I was telling him about my dreams to migrate and he said he can help me. I told him, the only way you can is when I marry you. HAHA!

----

On a side note! My sis's email just came in. SUPER LENGTHY with details of the guys she met. One hotel owner brought her on a tour. I don't know how she does it, but she manages to. I wish I did that when i was 20. You know, going to countries, meeting people, even dating a bit. Instead of wasting my teenage years on a relationship that clearly wasn't going to work out. I SO WISH I DID, that carefree, outrageous, rebellious girl in me would have love it.

2010-06-27T22:44:00.003+08:00

It's a Sunday (finally) and I'm taking a breather. It's a rarity to be able to reach back at 7 odd, 8pm. Usually my day starts at 7 in the morning when I open my eyes and stop at 1030 at night when I reached back home, with an occasional 1130pm. My time has been pretty much divided between lab, work and tuition. Now that work is over, lab is taking priority and tuition is good at the money end.

I like the hectic schedule which just forces me to keep my biological clock in order and my brain active. Real lab, with a real project, is so different from school lab. It really is mostly independent work - if results are screwed up, repeat the whole thing; if results are good (eventually after a long period), rejoice.

That aside, while I was doing my hair yesterday, I was reading one of their magazines they had. There was an article about a woman who found herself pregnant and made the choice of aborting the child. Predictably, she went through bouts of depression, sucidal moods (attempted suicides) and total withdrawal from who she used to be. Her partner could not handle it and broke it off with her. And, got back together after she recovered, by herself.

After reading it, it made me question,

Isn't the whole point about loving and being with someone means going through the good and the bad? How can one enjoy the good times but find themselves incapable of being with their partners through the worst.

"If you cannot handle me at my worst, you do not deserve me at my best" - quotation.

Which reminds me of a short experience shared; a woman was handling depression, bulimia and anxiety disorders for 3 YEARS. Throughout it all, her partner stayed with her and when she asked him why, he simply said, if I cannot be with you at your worst, then I do not deserve you at your best.

I wonder if anyone can handle my worst; do I even dare to show my worst again. What about you?

2010-06-06T23:35:00.002+08:00

After teaching children for more than a week now (by children, I mean K1 - P6), I realized how incredibly mature, endearing, angelic and adorable the girls are compared over the boys!

Of course there're adorable boys as well, but the odds are such that the girls fare way (can't emphasize how much better) better than the boys!

The girls has yet to climb over my head because I am nice to them/because I play with them; they know when it's crunch time and when it is to play; they clean up after their meals AUTOMATICALLY and even helped the BOYS to do so; they keep their areas clean and not make a huge mess like the boys.

And they definitely don't whine. Boys WHINE - "teacher! he call me female; teacher! he say i wear dress; teacher! he kick me" blah blah blah. and you never know who is for real and who is the bluffer.

Last of all, you know girls are WAY more mature than boys when they turn and look at me for remarks that they make and actions that they do to check if I am displeased.

MY GOODNESS!

GIRLS PLEASE.

2010-05-20T00:15:00.004+08:00

It's been 2 years of knowing each other. (:

Feels like time just flew past without us even realizing it. We went to Iguana's Cafe along Clarke Quay. They've really really REALLY good Mexican food! And their Margaritas are superb. One of the nicer and authentic (i.e. real alcohol content) ones I've tasted.

Of all the things I'm thankful for, I'm happiest to know that despite my lack of trust, insecurities and the emotional burdens I carried, he had been there.

A lot of people can say, I'll be there. But I've learnt that it takes alot to be actually there when faced with continuous mistrust. Despite not verbalizing it, it's understood that there was a long way to go for trust to be developed; and none to his fault.

And so, I'm thankful for his utmost patience and understanding and allowing all the time in the world to take place for the trust to build back properly and for things to heal. 2 years is not a long time, but it isn't short either, especially when facing each other almost everyday.

Wet lab officially started today. And after having to start from scratch (proposal, preparation of reagents, buffers, aliquoting out samples for storage etc), i realized that our school's lab really does NOT prepare us for anything. Working with Sau Mei to practice our skills because attempting the real thing! YES! Finally I wont be working alone in lab! =DD

Back to pictures!

Mr. Colgate smile advert.
Tacos with steak, calamari, nachos + dip and tequila drink each

there's supposed to be magarita inside the chocolate cake, but i couldn't taste any! but real vanilla was used (the pods) for the ice cream.

along clarke quay (:

The waiter who was at our table talked to sham while i was in the washroom. Once again, Sham's accent made the waiter think he isn't local (kampong not local mah. =D )

And then he asked Sham if we were on our first day. (:

We laughed as hard on our first date and i had felt really free then. I still feel as free with him.

2010-05-17T10:03:00.002+08:00

FOUND A JOB!

from 31st May to 18th July! It's about 3 weeks. So i'm gonna be stuck teaching kids (think 5 - 12 yrs of age) science experiments. But the pay is rather good. Hours are from 930 to 1630, with an hour's lunch break and tea break. It's fixed at $80 per day. (:

Will be a busy 3 weeks (trying) to juggle lab, work and tuition. But gonna think of the money and brisbane! =D

2010-05-11T22:23:00.003+08:00

Post exams:

Nightout with the boy (omg! finally!!) until Sat. The whole semester had been stolen hours at Starbucks on Friday nights after projects/work/tuition.

Sunday was tuition.

And Monday was lab.

Can't wait for the real holidays to begin in July for a month. (:

2nd anni in a few days time! Wheeeeeeeeeee =D

It's been worth it (:

2010-05-04T18:52:00.003+08:00

Proteomics was.a.killer.

I thought I was the only one who thought so! Apparently ALOT of others think so too. So I am consoled (abit). Was pretty confident up till the 4th question. Then i saw the m/z ratios to be found! Okay, that took me about 2 pages.

Then it's the dC and dU! I LOST 4 MARKS THERE!!! Forgot to minus 16!! And i don't even know if he wanted a backward primer (cause the notes said so), and i did BOTH backward and forward for BOTH methylated and non-methylated. Best of all, i dont know if it's correct.

Screwed.

Third, I blanked out when i saw SILAC. Took me a long while to NOT confuse O18 labeling as SILAC/metabolic labelling. Thank God.

Okay that aside, my mum and I had a long talk.

She's pretty supportive of me studying (if i can get thru this with the grace of God), and working.

She's pretty cool about my interest in pharmacology and neurobiology (I dunno why; shoot me).

She's more than enthusiastic about my future (like damn future) plans on Australia/NZ.

THEN

She heard I want to adopt if im not married by 32.

She (sorta) got irritated.

Told me i can get married at 27.

My mum. telling me. i can. get married. at 27. For those who knows my mum, it's HUGE, MEGA news.

But no, I am NOT getting married at 27. so young! there's still so much I want to accomplish and do; just praying i can see the opportunities before me and make the best out of them.

2010-04-26T14:50:00.003+08:00

Looking at shoes is orgasmic.

Wanting them is driving me insane.

Booties that give an edge to girly frocks....

... and go with tucked in skinny jeans..
and my favourite.

all at relatively reasonable prices (S$30-S$33).

Then reality crashed in.

Blardy heels are at least freaking 10.5 cm.

Which will conveniently tower me at 178.5 cm.

=.=

2010-04-25T21:33:00.006+08:00

lovegivesmehope (http://lovegivesmehope.com/)

"People tend to stare at my mom because she was severly burnt in a fire, leaving noticeable scars on her face.

At the mall, a man was taking photos for a magazine. He asked me if I could step out of the way. When I asked him why he said "I want a good picture of this beautiful woman."

My mom and him are getting married this weekend."

That's one of the most beautiful things I've read about - to love the way God loves; wonder how many are capable, how many are that fortunate. It's always easy to love a beautiful person; but what if, things changed?

During the exam period, it's understandable that everyone is stressed. The photo below made me go EEWWW and OMGGG WTF instantaneously!

Starring: Gunalan

Disclaimer: he's a nice straight guy. right nana? (:

2010-04-23T20:37:00.004+08:00

1 down! 4 to go! Exactly 4 more days to the taste of freedom.

And about 2 more months to Brisbane. (: Better start working for the moolahs. Not really keen to dip too much into my savings.

On a lighter note, my bikini came in the mailbox this evening. What a pleasant way to end Stem Cells paper (killer!).

Originally, I wanted to snatch this black one. Been wanting something like that for a LOOOOOOONNNNG time. So when I eagerly clicked onto it....

.... i realized that it's a THONG!

Needless to say, I did not get it. Complained to Sham about it and he said not to get it. He'll get one for me (in white) when we've our own infinity pool while holidaying in the (near, hopefully) future. Boys.

So instead, i got the following.

Still found it skimper than my usual type. Better to show him first!

In any case, I better start exercising again! Gained a great 4kg. -_- Now i look like a whale in a swim wear.

Imagine my side fats, Diana.

2010-04-20T00:47:00.001+08:00

Despite it all that has been going around, I'm finally starting to feel the happiness of it all. (:

Thank you.

More on that another time! Time to sleep and rise early! PHARMCO SURE SUCKS.

In any case, EXAMS SUCKS.

To the 7th - 19 more days.

2010-04-11T19:22:00.002+08:00

Random quotes

"God made man as a trial. But it was full of defects and thus He had to make woman"

- I found it damn hilarious! AND true!! HAHAHA! Sham went, guys can counterback. I did not
ask how as I was just too amused.

Another personal thought:

I want to travel the world, live it up in suites that comes with infinity pools.
Bliss. What's there not to love. (:

2010-04-02T09:10:00.003+08:00

Tickets are booked, I'm a few hundreds poorer.

But totally looking forward to that month plus of time together in Brisbane. And also 21st November, when he'll be back!

As requested, flight details will be kept confidential.

Say goodbye to moolahs and hello to Brisbane =D

2010-04-01T00:25:00.002+08:00

Let's go...

...And if we could, let's head to Prague to discover love. Then, to PAris to fall in love all over again. Let the city's charms and back alleys blend in with our joy. We can then jet down to New York for a high-headed euphoric shopping experience. Let the jazzy bars, fast-paced life, small quaint restaurants tucked at corners that have survived for more than a century and the glitzy fashion world blind our senses. Switzerland can then ease our souls, hearts and bodies with its alps, fine chocolate, security and best of all... our love tucked warmly inside us....

12.27AM.

Time to get back to stem cells.

2010-03-30T10:22:00.004+08:00

Duncun just made a large error in daring me not to give him the full reports.

I feel like it's secondary school and poly all over again - when people dared me and I moved on with the dare. I hate to be dared and not be able to do it!

So, all the more I shall not give unless he says his please(s) and thank you(s) and not make it sound like a demand.

Was already irritated with the grief from editing and pushing him to write in (FULL) sentences AND to add the references in instead of zipping up the whole file and expecting me to put in the references myself.

So, no full reports for anyone! Unless you don't give duncun!

2010-03-29T12:00:00.002+08:00

My mum loves to say that men like new things. An analogy that she loves to give is that, with the latest handphone model, wouldn't a guy prefer the latest one over one that is (let's say) 3 years old?

This is in reference to men with all the younger chicks and their prowling eyes.

Sometimes, I wish I've the nerve to shoot back and say, don't women prefer owing a later, more classic and improved phone model as compared to the trusty but yet not-too-functional (in terms of technology) 3310/8250?

Maybe one day I'll just ask her why she likes new things too.

(:

2010-03-27T23:18:00.003+08:00

I saw this label on one of the moisturisers located here. It goes somewhat like this (not lifted word for word, but rather the impression) :

"ATP is used to deliver energy to the skin layer for skin production"

Two things are wrong with this.

1) ATP can never be delivered directly to the skin's surface. Its ionic structure alone dispels any translocation across the membrane. Even if it can be delivered into the surface, I'm guessing it'll need some form of liposomal machinery, thus making this moisturiser a hell lot costlier than that SGD20 or so.

2) Since when is ATP the limiting factor of collagen synthesis? It is a needed-factor that is very much present within the cells. But definitely not the one required for skin (aka collagen) synthesis!

Coming across things like this once in a while gets me chuckling away with amusement, irritated at the wrong information passed out and glad I am in science. At moments like this, I'm sorta glad not to have gone into the field of psychology. (:

2010-03-25T00:05:00.003+08:00

The meeting with the professor went well (thank goodness). I was apprehensive and unsure of what I should say and how I should act. But thankfully, everything went well; i could answer his questions and know where he was coming from for his project.

And best of all, the brown softie bear and I will be working together. Mario will be nearby, probably in Thiru's lab. Really excited to end the papers, read up on the protocols and have the lab sessions going! Really praying hard that I won't screw things up in lab.

After the meeting and on my way to tuition, there was this trio of secondary school students. One of them was the outspoken one, seemingly rebellious, sorta reminded myself of how I was like (not very pleasant tho). But there was one with her back to me. I went forward, and took a look.

Her looks were average, nothing really striking. But if you looked deeper, and then you saw that smile she gave, it was radiant. And it's the sort of beauty that grows on one, I suppose.

It reminded me to look beyond the surface in life.

Later at night, Jason passed me the link for the man with no legs, no arms and no worries. You can check out http://www.attitudeisaltitude.com/

He is married. And he lamented, "What sort of man could not hold his wife's hands?"

And later on in the clip he said, "i may not have arms to hold her hand, but i'll be here to hold her heart"

I just cried when i heard that line. I thought of how people had reacted when they first got together, their apprehension, how they had struggled through opinions and faced things together, how their love had grown and will only continue growing.

I admire the strength and their love. I admire romance and dreams.

Which is the reason why I hate movies and/or stories with bad endings. To me, the world is pragmatic enough with realistic people. Some form of escapism is always welcomed.

Brisbane in July for a month. (:

the scowling mario and the smiling spongebob. i made him choose one and he chose a scowling one!! now they're both sitting beside my pillow. It sounds retarded, but i'll say g'night and g'morning to them. suddenly, my bed feels so much more comfortable.

(Pardon the grammer. Did not proof read!)

2010-03-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

I've got this! (:

2010-03-06T23:24:00.004+08:00

Guna and I were talking about v-day and I commented about his certain texting...

Found this part really amusing!

Pls enlarge is unable to view. worth it!

and now, we all know what a kity he is underneath (:

(enjoy EUNICE!)

2010-03-05T20:12:00.002+08:00

A break from all the mugging; watched this documentary that speaks of the sources of our food.

But it was more than just the appalling facts of where our food came from, how it was processed, the number of children it killed with the need for greater profits and the monopoly that a handful of companies have over the people responsible at the front line of food production, labouring it out.

It was the lack of justice, the alliance of the rich coporations with the republicans and how the masses' voices will usually remain unheard or just remain a faint sound over the millions of cash registers.

With that, I commented to a friend that those coporations must really hate Obama because he refused to conform, a minority against the masses.

Someone commented that Obama is losing his appeal of charisma and empty promises. But the question will be, who president has managed to fulfill all promises and not screw up things in the process? I like the way he came down to the level of masses, spoke of different things, pointed out various directions. Because, even if he did not succeed completely in what he planned to do, even if his ideas seem a bit too idealistic, one day it will serve as an inspiration for someone else to continue his work; for a chain of someone elses' to finally release the world of the monopoly, corruption and do what is right.

2010-03-04T15:51:00.003+08:00

I found this online; it rings so true:

"Lollipops turn into ciagrettes. The innocent ones into sluts.

Homework goes into trash. Mobile phones are used in class.

Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka.

Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex.

Remember when getting high means swinging on the playground?

When protection meant wearing a helmet?

When the worst thing you can get from boys were cooties?

Dad's shoulders were the highest place and Mom was your hero?

Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest.

War was only a board game. And the only drug you know was cough medicine.

The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldn't wait to grow up?"

-Author unknown

What were some of the simpler things in life that was taken for granted, until it was showed to be fragile and breakable like any other?

2010-03-02T23:01:00.002+08:00

I am so screwed.

Just hit me that I've 3 mid terms next week.

Two of it really heavy in content. Shit shit shit shit shit!!!

Time to start burning the oil. ><

That aside, the boy's bdae is coming up and outta inspiration, this was developed:

Yes, he's so gonna kill me. Guna suggested I put it at the school lockers and lifts. HA HA

2010-02-24T21:28:00.002+08:00

3 years back, I could go without sleep for the night, function perfectly normally for almost the whole of the next day. Then, I'll crash at night till the next morning. Most nights were spent rushing up reports and readings after work with an average rest of 4.5-5 hours.

3 years later, having 5 hours of sleep the night before (just for a night!) is enough to give me heavy eye lids, a pounding head as the lecturer drones on continuously and reduced my speech capabilities. All in all, it made me extremely cranky.

Knowing that I'll be 23 this year makes me feel old. A girl/woman's peak is in their 20s. Most of us are nearing the midline of our peaks. Yet, I do not know where I'll be going in life. The thought of graduation next year and the subsequent experiences that my life will take flips me out from time to time.

I've an over-active imagination. One which I try my best to shut off; or at least, rationalize before/after having an episode. But, it's still not helping.

Sometimes I wish faith is enough.

Because it seems only yesterday that I was 13, sitting at the front of my secondary school porch, looking across at my seniors (who were 16), thinking how amazingly old they're. And it seems only yesterday that me and a bunch of us girls sat down at the rock chairs underneath HDB blocks with our cup of instant noodles and rum balls, talking about the future; and one will be drawing out new wedding gowns tailored based on our characters.

We all thought 22 is old, 23 is ancient.

So, according to that theory, I'm ancient. And clueless. Not a good feeling especially since I'm an "administrative", "regular" individual.

2010-02-21T21:45:00.002+08:00

A few days back on Friday, a group of us went out. If I've to be honest, it's for my gf to meet someone new; someone whom I think will not bully her, treat her well, and be able to stand his own ground in the eyes of pressure.

Let's just see how things go.

It's a Sunday again. And Sundays are always marked by www.postsecrets.com

It never feels complete without it. (:

2010-02-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade out of it.

And then, you make some more lemonade with more lemons.

And more.

My jug seems to be full.

Can I've an apple juice instead?

2010-02-04T22:07:00.004+08:00

Diana commented that I've yet been updating my blog.

Instead of having to go through the hassle of creating a new one, I deleted all my new posts except for one.

It's like having a new, brand new slate to write onto. Rather liberating.

(:

Age is catching up with me real fast. I spotted cellulite. >< and so, guys being guys went, "but you've to squeeze hard to see it"

That's beside the point. The point is, it is present.

Think I can be disciplined enough to wake up at 6am 2x a week to run?

2009-11-21T22:58:00.010+08:00

How have you changed over the years?

(Long post ahead.)

A while back, I was having this conversation on Singapore's education system. While I admit that the perpetual workload kills creativity and drives us to be on a constant vigilance for extra work load, I was arguing FOR the better-good of it. Why?

Because without this system, I might never have been who I am right now.

When I was young, I craved for love and acceptance. Those two are the biggest things that I craved for, ever; more than toys, clothes or anything else in the world. At 5 (i think it was 5), I thought no one loved me and no one cared, so i wrote a "goodbye" note, stuffed it into a drawer and proceeded to chew paper, not knowing it's not all that toxic.

That need to be loved and accepted lessened over the years of having to find myself in situations that demanded the most out of my independence; during the most trying moments and the moments that life had left me hanging, not knowing what to do, and where to go.

So where does the system come into play?

Those who had known me back in secondary school will know how irresponsible a person I had been. I'd sleep in lessons, and put projects off to the last minute. It changed a bit during upper secondary, but I was still that lazy poof.

Poly, with its stress-level due to projects and deadlines sparked off my thirst for that adrenaline rush; the need to do things right. But, poly was really peanuts compared to university.

In Australia, I saw and realized how easy the locals had it there, especially so when I myself is in NTU right now. I know of locals who were complaining about 3 modules, spread out time tables, when we had 6,with electives to clear. I saw how the locals thrived there due to the perpetual workload they had back here.

That to me, is going through the hardships locally to be able to enjoy whatever easier fruits there are in the future, but never forgetting the skills that allowed one to survive through the harder times.

In university, amidst all the workload, deadlines and projects; on top of which family and financial problems, gave me this acute sense of loneliness that I couldn't seem to drive off, no matter what.

The need to be loved and accepted lessened by a lot. I questioned, who do you trust? Who is true to you? The years of trying moments had dampened that immensive childhood need and capability to trust, love, hope and dream for anything other than myself.

Because, I know control myself. I can control how far I want to go in life; what I want to do and what I want to get out of life. I saw how the amount of effort people give to nurturing friendships, relationships and ties was inversely proportionate to the amount they get back. Most of the times, even the basal level limit was not reciprocated. At least with work, the nights of sleep sacrificed, the effort put in to perfect a report, to understand a concept gives me immediate joy.

University and its work load honed my skills to survive under immense stress, to seek to thrive despite the moments I wanted to break down.

It made me have a better view and clearer understanding of my work ethics and the kind of people I work best with. It made me realize that I need to be able to work with people with the same or similar wavelengths. I need initiation. I prefer working with guys (usually) due to their ability to be focused, to be initiative and to get things done without being side tracked. I admire their ability to be analytical in ways that I might never be; to go beyond a certain scope that I can only seek to thrive towards.

And which is why I work really well with Sham and Guna. Thank goodness.

I just wanted to rant, because that single conversation and a comment downstream of it sparked off this whole thinking process in my mind about life, love, trust, hope, dreams... and how at the end of the day, I cannot seem to trust anything at all except myself.

At the end of the day, it just seems to be God and me.

I admit I've changed from someone who had so much to give emotionally to someone who is still able to, but questions the validity of it. But yet, I've changed to someone with absurd work ethics to someone whom I can be proud of after looking performance levels. That isn't that bad a change, isn't it?

Afterall, one needs work to survive, to eat, to live and... to do whatever.

But yet, there'll still be moments when that childhood girl in me sneaks out. Still wanting to be loved. To be accepted. To be needed. And then I let her flourish for a moment or two. Ironically, each time something happens to threaten to crush her, I thank God for reminding me to focus on who I am right now, not the past. It's just so conflicting.

How have you changed?